1 00:00:04,221 --> 00:00:05,309 Nick! 2 00:00:06,397 --> 00:00:07,659 What's wrong? 3 00:00:07,703 --> 00:00:09,139 I've been trying to get you to plan 4 00:00:09,183 --> 00:00:11,054 Fourth of July with me for over a month, 5 00:00:11,098 --> 00:00:12,577 and you keep saying, "Later." 6 00:00:12,621 --> 00:00:15,102 Well, it's later, and we have to do this now. 7 00:00:15,145 --> 00:00:18,279 Look, in my defense, I didn't know you were planning anything. 8 00:00:18,322 --> 00:00:20,455 Well, what did you think I was doing? 9 00:00:20,498 --> 00:00:22,370 I thought you were just talking. 10 00:00:22,413 --> 00:00:25,460 Look, a plan isn't a plan unless the person that you're planning with 11 00:00:25,503 --> 00:00:27,679 knows it's the plan, too. 12 00:00:27,723 --> 00:00:30,552 Fine. Next time, I'll remember to put, 13 00:00:30,595 --> 00:00:33,163 "Pay attention, I'm talking to you," in your calendar. 14 00:00:33,207 --> 00:00:34,904 Now, can we book these tickets now? 15 00:00:34,947 --> 00:00:36,993 Because they're the only cheap ones left. 16 00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:38,429 Mmm-hmm. 17 00:00:38,473 --> 00:00:40,344 Nick, listen to me. 18 00:00:40,388 --> 00:00:42,259 I'm listening. You said, "Tickets." 19 00:00:42,303 --> 00:00:45,654 Okay, these tickets cost $240 each. 20 00:00:45,697 --> 00:00:47,569 Each? Round trip? Yes. 21 00:00:47,612 --> 00:00:49,223 No connection? No. 22 00:00:49,962 --> 00:00:51,007 Nick. 23 00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:53,140 What? Okay, then, uh, get them. 24 00:00:53,183 --> 00:00:55,577 Well, they're non-refundable. What if you have to work? 25 00:00:55,620 --> 00:00:58,058 Okay, then don't get them. Uh, get some other ones. 26 00:00:58,101 --> 00:00:59,624 But the other ones are twice as much. 27 00:00:59,668 --> 00:01:00,930 Okay, then get these. 28 00:01:00,973 --> 00:01:02,671 But these have additional baggage fees. 29 00:01:02,714 --> 00:01:04,368 Do you think we can take one bag each? 30 00:01:04,412 --> 00:01:06,805 I don't know. How much does it cost for the extra bag? 31 00:01:06,849 --> 00:01:08,503 $50 per bag per person. 32 00:01:08,546 --> 00:01:10,026 Oh, man! 33 00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:12,463 So, you mean to tell me that if we left our luggage, 34 00:01:12,507 --> 00:01:14,465 we could actually take another person? That's crazy. 35 00:01:14,509 --> 00:01:16,989 Nick, focus. Okay, I'm focused. 36 00:01:17,033 --> 00:01:20,297 Look, all right. Uh... So, these tickets cost twice as much. 37 00:01:20,341 --> 00:01:22,212 Uh, how much does it cost for the extra bag with those? 38 00:01:22,256 --> 00:01:23,387 $35. 39 00:01:23,431 --> 00:01:25,128 Okay, so it's really not twice as much. 40 00:01:25,172 --> 00:01:28,566 It's twice as much minus 50 plus 35, plus they're refundable. 41 00:01:28,610 --> 00:01:30,351 How much does it cost to change these tickets? 42 00:01:30,394 --> 00:01:31,613 $100. 43 00:01:31,656 --> 00:01:33,745 Then what's that? I don't know. 44 00:01:33,789 --> 00:01:35,356 You didn't figure this out already? 45 00:01:35,399 --> 00:01:36,966 I was waiting for you. 46 00:01:37,009 --> 00:01:39,186 You can't count by yourself? 47 00:01:39,229 --> 00:01:41,753 You know what? I'm just going to buy these tickets. 48 00:01:41,797 --> 00:01:44,887 Whatever it costs, it costs, and whatever happens, happens. 49 00:01:44,930 --> 00:01:46,454 Fine, buy the tickets. 50 00:01:46,497 --> 00:01:47,498 Thank you. 51 00:01:50,762 --> 00:01:52,242 Oh, no. 52 00:01:52,286 --> 00:01:53,939 What? What's wrong? 53 00:01:53,983 --> 00:01:55,463 They sold the tickets. 54 00:01:56,855 --> 00:02:00,337 Okay, then, uh, we'll just do something else. 55 00:02:00,381 --> 00:02:03,514 Something else? Really, Nick? That's your plan? 56 00:02:03,558 --> 00:02:04,994 You know what? I'll tell you what. 57 00:02:05,037 --> 00:02:07,475 If you can find something else for us to do 58 00:02:07,518 --> 00:02:09,259 that's affordable, we'll do it. 59 00:02:09,303 --> 00:02:11,479 But if you can't, you have to tell the kids 60 00:02:11,522 --> 00:02:14,177 that you waited until the last minute to buy their tickets, 61 00:02:14,221 --> 00:02:16,266 and now, they don't have a summer vacation. 62 00:02:16,310 --> 00:02:18,094 Oh, so now it's my fault? 63 00:02:18,834 --> 00:02:19,922 Yeah. 64 00:02:22,533 --> 00:02:24,840 I just sent a reminder to your calendar. 65 00:02:24,883 --> 00:02:26,537 It's "Take the blame" Tuesdays. 66 00:02:27,625 --> 00:02:28,844 That's real mature, baby. 67 00:02:29,671 --> 00:02:31,063 Real mature. 68 00:02:33,762 --> 00:02:34,763 ♪ Are we there yet? 69 00:02:35,807 --> 00:02:38,984 ♪ Tell me, tell me, tell me 70 00:02:39,028 --> 00:02:40,856 ♪ Tell me, are we there yet? 71 00:02:40,899 --> 00:02:42,597 ♪ Are we there yet? 72 00:02:44,033 --> 00:02:45,687 Man, this is going to be great. 73 00:02:45,730 --> 00:02:48,994 Fourth of July in Vegas, poolside. 74 00:02:49,038 --> 00:02:52,259 Drinks, women, drunk women. 75 00:02:52,302 --> 00:02:54,043 So, when do you plan to go down there? 76 00:02:54,086 --> 00:02:55,914 See, I don't have to plan-plan. 77 00:02:55,958 --> 00:02:57,655 Remember that flight attendant I was dating? 78 00:02:57,699 --> 00:02:59,135 She gave me this employee pass, 79 00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:00,571 and now I just show up at the airport. 80 00:03:00,615 --> 00:03:03,313 They put me in an open seat anywhere I want to go. 81 00:03:03,357 --> 00:03:06,142 I don't have four of those passes, so I'm out of luck. 82 00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:08,188 Why don't you just drive somewhere for vacation? 83 00:03:08,231 --> 00:03:09,754 Like where? 84 00:03:09,798 --> 00:03:13,236 I don't know. Grand Canyon, amusement park, Europe. 85 00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:14,846 Drive to Europe? 86 00:03:14,890 --> 00:03:16,674 Yeah, everything I know about family vacations, 87 00:03:16,718 --> 00:03:19,590 I learned from National Lampoon. 88 00:03:19,634 --> 00:03:21,201 Ooh, this is good. 89 00:03:21,244 --> 00:03:22,332 What you got? 90 00:03:22,376 --> 00:03:24,334 Skiing in Vancouver! 91 00:03:24,378 --> 00:03:25,770 Bam! 92 00:03:25,814 --> 00:03:27,859 Skiing? In the middle of summer? 93 00:03:27,903 --> 00:03:30,862 According to this. And it's just a drive up to Vancouver. 94 00:03:30,906 --> 00:03:32,081 Do they have any rooms? 95 00:03:32,124 --> 00:03:33,691 Yeah. 96 00:03:33,735 --> 00:03:36,259 Oh, this is great. They got a private course and lift. 97 00:03:36,303 --> 00:03:38,696 There's skiing, snowboarding, sledding. 98 00:03:38,740 --> 00:03:40,481 And they make their own snow year round. 99 00:03:40,524 --> 00:03:42,178 I didn't think the kids knew how to ski. 100 00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:44,572 They don't. That's what lessons are for. 101 00:03:50,447 --> 00:03:52,101 I got another text from Tina. 102 00:03:52,144 --> 00:03:54,016 She's going to Hawaii with her family. 103 00:03:54,059 --> 00:03:56,148 I thought Tina was going to Costa Rica. 104 00:03:56,192 --> 00:03:57,324 No, that's Tanya. 105 00:03:58,977 --> 00:04:01,066 Wait, I thought Tanya was going to Cabo. 106 00:04:01,110 --> 00:04:02,198 That's Dylan. 107 00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:04,069 Oh, the one you think is cute? 108 00:04:04,113 --> 00:04:06,942 No, that Dylan is going to Cancun. 109 00:04:06,985 --> 00:04:09,988 Ooh, when they see my pictures from the Bahamas, 110 00:04:10,032 --> 00:04:12,687 it's totally going to blow their vacations away. 111 00:04:12,730 --> 00:04:14,297 Oh, did you see that? 112 00:04:14,341 --> 00:04:17,126 That guy almost took off James Bond's head with a hat! 113 00:04:17,169 --> 00:04:18,910 You're watching James Bond? 114 00:04:18,954 --> 00:04:20,521 Yeah, did you know another actor 115 00:04:20,564 --> 00:04:22,218 played him besides Daniel Craig? 116 00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:25,656 Yeah, that's Sean Connery. There were, like, five or six others. 117 00:04:25,700 --> 00:04:27,571 What? No way. 118 00:04:27,615 --> 00:04:31,271 Way. That's Goldfinger. And the guy with the hat, that's Oddjob. 119 00:04:31,314 --> 00:04:32,750 Cool. 120 00:04:32,794 --> 00:04:35,884 Uh, I don't know if your mother told you, 121 00:04:35,927 --> 00:04:38,278 but you know that trip we were planning? 122 00:04:38,321 --> 00:04:41,759 Yeah, I can't wait. The Bahamas is going to be so awesome. 123 00:04:41,803 --> 00:04:44,414 Me and my girlfriends said we would tweet pictures, like, every day 124 00:04:44,458 --> 00:04:47,112 and make a picture diary of our vacation. 125 00:04:47,156 --> 00:04:50,464 Yeah. Well, there's been a change in plans. 126 00:04:52,030 --> 00:04:53,728 We're not going. What? 127 00:04:53,771 --> 00:04:55,425 Please tell me this is a joke. 128 00:04:55,469 --> 00:04:58,646 Well, it's a long story. But we're going someplace else! 129 00:04:58,689 --> 00:05:00,038 Where? 130 00:05:00,082 --> 00:05:01,779 Vancouver! 131 00:05:01,823 --> 00:05:03,738 They have beaches in Vancouver? 132 00:05:03,781 --> 00:05:05,479 What? I don't know. 133 00:05:05,522 --> 00:05:07,350 We're going skiing! 134 00:05:07,394 --> 00:05:08,656 You can ski in the summer? 135 00:05:08,699 --> 00:05:10,179 Yes. 136 00:05:10,222 --> 00:05:12,224 Why would anybody want to go skiing in the summer? 137 00:05:12,268 --> 00:05:15,532 Because their other trip got canceled, all right? Thank you. 138 00:05:17,404 --> 00:05:19,319 So, did you tell them about the Bahamas? 139 00:05:19,362 --> 00:05:20,755 I am telling them now 140 00:05:20,798 --> 00:05:23,061 that although we will not be able to go to the beach, 141 00:05:23,105 --> 00:05:26,151 we are going skiing in Vancouver! 142 00:05:27,022 --> 00:05:28,066 Skiing in the summer? 143 00:05:28,110 --> 00:05:29,894 Yes, in the summer. 144 00:05:29,938 --> 00:05:32,157 Well, I mean, as long as it's okay with the kids, 145 00:05:32,201 --> 00:05:33,898 it's fine by me. All right. 146 00:05:33,942 --> 00:05:36,510 I think it's cool. I guess it's better than staying home. 147 00:05:36,553 --> 00:05:37,685 Did you book it? 148 00:05:37,728 --> 00:05:39,208 Oh, I was waiting to talk to you guys. 149 00:05:39,251 --> 00:05:42,385 Nick, it's the summer. These things book up quickly. 150 00:05:42,429 --> 00:05:44,996 No, it's okay. I was on the website an hour ago. 151 00:05:45,040 --> 00:05:46,607 They had plenty of rooms. 152 00:05:46,650 --> 00:05:50,350 Look at this. All I have to do, go back to the web page, 153 00:05:50,393 --> 00:05:53,440 I got all my info plugged in, 154 00:05:53,483 --> 00:05:57,487 refresh, send and bam! 155 00:05:58,619 --> 00:05:59,620 "Sold out." 156 00:06:00,142 --> 00:06:01,578 What? 157 00:06:01,622 --> 00:06:02,840 Sold out? 158 00:06:03,711 --> 00:06:05,408 They had rooms an hour ago. 159 00:06:05,452 --> 00:06:09,717 Well, I guess you're not the only one with the Internet! 160 00:06:10,935 --> 00:06:12,720 Wait, so now we're not going? 161 00:06:12,763 --> 00:06:16,158 You've got to be kidding me. Everybody I know is going to be on a trip, 162 00:06:16,201 --> 00:06:18,378 and I'm going to be posting pictures of my room. 163 00:06:20,423 --> 00:06:23,557 It's okay, Dad. I mean, going to the beach would have been cool, 164 00:06:23,600 --> 00:06:26,081 and going skiing this summer would have been even cooler, 165 00:06:26,124 --> 00:06:29,519 but I guess watching James Bond reruns can be cool, too. 166 00:06:29,563 --> 00:06:31,086 How many Bonds did you say they had? 167 00:06:31,608 --> 00:06:32,870 Six or seven. 168 00:06:32,914 --> 00:06:34,785 I'll go look them up on Wikipedia. 169 00:06:38,049 --> 00:06:41,052 I know! I'm sorry. 170 00:06:41,096 --> 00:06:42,706 Look, baby, 171 00:06:42,750 --> 00:06:44,447 I will make this up to you. 172 00:06:44,491 --> 00:06:46,188 Really, Nick? How? 173 00:06:46,580 --> 00:06:47,842 Honey? 174 00:06:47,885 --> 00:06:49,496 Oh, come... 175 00:06:57,460 --> 00:06:59,506 Good morning! 176 00:06:59,549 --> 00:07:00,811 Wow! 177 00:07:00,855 --> 00:07:02,857 Nick, what is all this? 178 00:07:02,900 --> 00:07:05,425 Welcome to Casa del Nick. 179 00:07:07,818 --> 00:07:09,385 "Casa del Nick?" 180 00:07:09,864 --> 00:07:10,908 That's right. 181 00:07:10,952 --> 00:07:13,258 Look, since we can't go on vacation, 182 00:07:13,302 --> 00:07:15,435 we're going to have a staycation! 183 00:07:17,959 --> 00:07:20,222 That's Raheem. Say, "What's up?" 184 00:07:28,186 --> 00:07:31,059 So, a staycation, huh? 185 00:07:31,102 --> 00:07:32,800 Yeah, staycation. 186 00:07:32,843 --> 00:07:35,542 Look, it's a vacation for people who choose to stay at home. 187 00:07:35,585 --> 00:07:37,761 Everything you can do on some remote location, 188 00:07:37,805 --> 00:07:39,894 you can do right in your own backyard. 189 00:07:39,937 --> 00:07:43,375 Wow, this is almost as cool as skiing in the summer. 190 00:07:43,419 --> 00:07:45,943 Right? I said almost. 191 00:07:45,987 --> 00:07:47,379 This is not a vacation. 192 00:07:47,423 --> 00:07:48,729 This is lame. 193 00:07:48,772 --> 00:07:50,121 Lindsey, please. 194 00:07:50,165 --> 00:07:52,123 Just trust me, this is not going to be lame. 195 00:07:52,167 --> 00:07:55,866 Lindsey, apologize. Your father is doing the best that he can. 196 00:07:56,214 --> 00:07:57,651 Sorry. 197 00:07:57,694 --> 00:07:59,740 Oh, don't worry about it. You are going to have fun. 198 00:07:59,783 --> 00:08:03,526 Now, look, if everyone would please follow me, 199 00:08:03,570 --> 00:08:07,530 breakfast is served on the patio. 200 00:08:07,574 --> 00:08:08,879 All right, everybody, let's go. 201 00:08:08,923 --> 00:08:10,707 Ooh! Hot sand! Hot sand. 202 00:08:14,363 --> 00:08:15,973 Come on in. 203 00:08:16,017 --> 00:08:18,410 Check it out. Nice, huh, huh? 204 00:08:18,454 --> 00:08:21,326 Have a seat. Have a seat. Enjoy. 205 00:08:21,370 --> 00:08:24,982 Good morning, everybody, and welcome to La buena comida. 206 00:08:25,026 --> 00:08:27,768 Martin, wait a minute. I thought you were going to Las Vegas. 207 00:08:27,811 --> 00:08:30,422 Yeah, turns out that employee pass stops working 208 00:08:30,466 --> 00:08:32,990 when you stop dating that employee. 209 00:08:33,034 --> 00:08:34,818 Martin will be taking your breakfast orders, 210 00:08:34,862 --> 00:08:37,995 so just relax, and let's get this party started. 211 00:08:38,039 --> 00:08:39,780 So, what can I get for the young lady? 212 00:08:39,823 --> 00:08:43,174 Ooh, I'll take tickets to the Bahamas to go. 213 00:08:43,566 --> 00:08:44,872 Lindsey. 214 00:08:44,915 --> 00:08:46,743 Okay, can I get room service? 215 00:08:46,787 --> 00:08:48,005 Lindsey. 216 00:08:48,049 --> 00:08:50,530 It's okay. Yes, you may have room service. 217 00:08:50,573 --> 00:08:53,184 Nice. If I decide to eat, I'll let you know. 218 00:08:56,100 --> 00:08:59,321 Hey, Dad, does this resort have pay-per-view movies? 219 00:08:59,364 --> 00:09:01,541 Actually, we have free-per-view movies. 220 00:09:01,584 --> 00:09:03,368 Oh, can we get all the James Bond movies? 221 00:09:03,412 --> 00:09:05,632 I want to see who the best James Bond is. 222 00:09:05,675 --> 00:09:06,720 That'd be Roger Moore, 223 00:09:06,763 --> 00:09:08,199 The Man with the Golden Gun. 224 00:09:08,243 --> 00:09:09,897 That is a James Bond movie. 225 00:09:09,940 --> 00:09:12,203 And Scaramanga? Best villain ever. 226 00:09:12,247 --> 00:09:13,857 Okay, I don't know who you're talking about, 227 00:09:13,901 --> 00:09:15,990 but he can't be cooler than Oddjob. 228 00:09:16,033 --> 00:09:18,601 We may have to view some of these flicks and compare. 229 00:09:18,645 --> 00:09:19,820 So, what's it going to be? 230 00:09:19,863 --> 00:09:21,952 Uh, can I have a bowl of jelly, please? 231 00:09:21,996 --> 00:09:23,171 A fine choice, sir. 232 00:09:23,214 --> 00:09:25,173 With some saltine crackers on the side. 233 00:09:25,216 --> 00:09:27,349 Mmm-hmm. And some peanut butter. 234 00:09:27,392 --> 00:09:29,307 That'd be crunchy or creamy? 235 00:09:29,351 --> 00:09:30,613 I'll take creamy. 236 00:09:30,657 --> 00:09:32,702 Creamy it is. And for the lady. 237 00:09:32,746 --> 00:09:36,184 I would like to have Suzanne's favorite egg white omelet. 238 00:09:36,227 --> 00:09:37,620 Mmm-hmm. 239 00:09:37,664 --> 00:09:39,666 Mira, Mira, order up. Ding, ding. 240 00:09:39,709 --> 00:09:42,843 All right, I got a crock of jam with brown sauce on the side 241 00:09:42,886 --> 00:09:44,627 and a number one coming right up! 242 00:09:48,326 --> 00:09:52,243 Okay, so what is this I hear about you all having a vacation at home? 243 00:09:52,287 --> 00:09:53,549 Hello, Marilyn. 244 00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:54,855 Hello, Suzanne. 245 00:09:54,898 --> 00:09:56,639 Dad messed up and didn't book our trip, 246 00:09:56,683 --> 00:09:59,076 so now we're having a "staycation." 247 00:09:59,120 --> 00:10:01,426 Well, I got three words for you, 248 00:10:01,470 --> 00:10:02,645 count me in! 249 00:10:04,865 --> 00:10:06,867 May I show you to your room, ma'am? 250 00:10:06,910 --> 00:10:08,390 Well, I'd love that. 251 00:10:08,433 --> 00:10:10,261 Uh, you want me in your room, right? Okay, thanks. 252 00:10:10,305 --> 00:10:11,785 No! No, uh... 253 00:10:11,828 --> 00:10:13,830 Not the master suite. 254 00:10:19,053 --> 00:10:21,882 Baby, I could get used to this. 255 00:10:21,925 --> 00:10:24,058 Good, because it only gets better. 256 00:10:24,101 --> 00:10:26,060 I got James Bond movies for Kevin, 257 00:10:26,103 --> 00:10:28,932 and I just found out Lady Gaga's playing downtown. 258 00:10:28,976 --> 00:10:30,630 Look, Mike said he could get us tickets. 259 00:10:30,673 --> 00:10:33,981 Oh, my gosh, Nick, Lindsey loves Lady Gaga. 260 00:10:34,024 --> 00:10:35,809 And we are going to see her, baby. 261 00:10:35,852 --> 00:10:36,984 Oh! 262 00:10:37,941 --> 00:10:39,334 What can I get for you, Mom? 263 00:10:39,377 --> 00:10:40,901 Uh, something to drink, baby. 264 00:10:40,944 --> 00:10:42,772 Coming right up. 265 00:10:42,816 --> 00:10:46,950 So, Suzanne, what is the plan for today? 266 00:10:46,994 --> 00:10:49,910 Well, Nick graciously booked spa appointments 267 00:10:49,953 --> 00:10:51,825 at Seattle Body and Spa. 268 00:10:51,868 --> 00:10:53,478 Wow, that's nice. 269 00:10:53,522 --> 00:10:55,611 Mmm-hmm. Really nice. 270 00:10:56,568 --> 00:10:57,657 Spa appointments, huh? 271 00:10:58,875 --> 00:11:00,747 Would you like to join us, Marilyn? 272 00:11:00,790 --> 00:11:02,836 Now, Suzanne, you know I don't like to intrude. 273 00:11:02,879 --> 00:11:05,708 You wouldn't be intruding. Actually, we have three appointments, 274 00:11:05,752 --> 00:11:06,927 and Lindsey doesn't feel like going. 275 00:11:06,970 --> 00:11:08,058 Ooh! 276 00:11:08,102 --> 00:11:10,278 Let's get our spa on! 277 00:11:10,321 --> 00:11:13,890 Hey, Gigi. Girl, that dress is gorgeous.Mmm-hmm. 278 00:11:13,934 --> 00:11:15,718 Thank you. 279 00:11:15,762 --> 00:11:18,329 Come on, let's go. Hold on a minute. 280 00:11:18,373 --> 00:11:20,592 ♪ Medi-Pedi foot scrub 281 00:11:20,636 --> 00:11:23,030 ♪ Mud bath, back rub ♪ 282 00:11:23,073 --> 00:11:24,727 ♪ To the spa, to the spa To the spa ♪ 283 00:11:24,771 --> 00:11:26,163 To the spa! 284 00:11:26,207 --> 00:11:27,861 ♪ To the spa, to the spa To the spa, whoo! ♪ 285 00:11:27,904 --> 00:11:31,516 Hey! You all know I can't get out of this thing by myself! 286 00:11:36,391 --> 00:11:38,045 Hey! Hey. 287 00:11:38,088 --> 00:11:40,830 You missed the spa. You would have had a great time. 288 00:11:40,874 --> 00:11:42,092 No, I wouldn't. 289 00:11:42,136 --> 00:11:43,441 I'm sitting in my kitchen while my friends 290 00:11:43,485 --> 00:11:45,530 are tweeting pictures from their vacations. 291 00:11:45,574 --> 00:11:47,489 Lindsey, 292 00:11:47,532 --> 00:11:51,145 before I was as fabulous as I am now, I was... 293 00:11:51,188 --> 00:11:53,756 Well, not as fabulous as I am now. 294 00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:55,410 And one of the things I learned to do 295 00:11:55,453 --> 00:11:57,891 was to always make the best of the situation. 296 00:11:57,934 --> 00:11:59,370 Your dad put in a lot of effort 297 00:11:59,414 --> 00:12:00,981 to make this into a vacation. 298 00:12:01,024 --> 00:12:04,462 If it's supposed to be a resort, act like it's a resort. 299 00:12:04,506 --> 00:12:05,768 You can tweet that. 300 00:12:05,812 --> 00:12:07,030 I mean, look at all of this. 301 00:12:07,074 --> 00:12:10,120 You have an ocean view, tropical drinks, 302 00:12:10,991 --> 00:12:12,166 and you have your family. 303 00:12:13,471 --> 00:12:14,603 Grab that drink. 304 00:12:16,953 --> 00:12:18,259 Put these on. 305 00:12:19,390 --> 00:12:21,088 There we go. Give me your phone. 306 00:12:21,131 --> 00:12:22,263 Stand over there, 307 00:12:22,306 --> 00:12:24,656 right in front of the ocean view, girl. 308 00:12:24,700 --> 00:12:26,528 All right, smile. 309 00:12:30,314 --> 00:12:31,707 Tweet that. 310 00:12:42,936 --> 00:12:44,851 Hey, guys, Nick around? I have to tell him something. 311 00:12:44,894 --> 00:12:46,200 Yeah, he's out in the office. 312 00:12:46,243 --> 00:12:47,505 Okay. 313 00:12:47,549 --> 00:12:49,246 You guys watching The Spy Who Loved Me? 314 00:12:49,290 --> 00:12:51,814 Yeah, that guy's teeth are ridiculous. 315 00:12:51,858 --> 00:12:53,250 You know what? Forget what I said earlier. 316 00:12:53,294 --> 00:12:56,079 Jaws is definitely the best villain of all time. 317 00:12:56,123 --> 00:12:59,779 That guy? I seen scarier teeth on the Wu Tang Clan. 318 00:12:59,822 --> 00:13:01,563 That guy's got nothing on Stamper 319 00:13:01,606 --> 00:13:03,217 from Tomorrow Never Dies. 320 00:13:03,260 --> 00:13:05,480 He'd have something on him if he bit his leg off. 321 00:13:05,523 --> 00:13:08,309 Stamper loves pain. Wouldn't bother him a bit. 322 00:13:08,352 --> 00:13:13,009 Bond before Pierce Brosnan is like the Black Eyed Peas before Fergie. 323 00:13:13,053 --> 00:13:14,532 Ain't worth watching. 324 00:13:14,576 --> 00:13:17,187 Okay, listen, you can have your Pierce Brosnan. 325 00:13:17,231 --> 00:13:20,277 As far as I'm concerned, if it's not Roger Moore, it's not James Bond. 326 00:13:20,321 --> 00:13:22,627 All right, all right, best Bond girl. 327 00:13:22,671 --> 00:13:24,238 Obviously, it's Major Anya Amasova 328 00:13:24,281 --> 00:13:25,326 from The Spy Who Loved Me. 329 00:13:25,369 --> 00:13:27,110 Get out of here with that! 330 00:13:27,154 --> 00:13:29,809 Christmas Jones, The World Is Not Enough. 331 00:13:29,852 --> 00:13:30,853 Mmm... 332 00:13:30,897 --> 00:13:32,899 Were you shaken as a baby? 333 00:13:32,942 --> 00:13:35,249 Denise Richards could take hotness pills for a year, 334 00:13:35,292 --> 00:13:38,121 and she wouldn't even be in the same ball park as Barbara Bach. 335 00:13:38,165 --> 00:13:41,211 What do you think, Kev? Who do you like? 336 00:13:41,255 --> 00:13:42,952 I like the lady from Goldfinger. 337 00:13:42,996 --> 00:13:46,303 Right, Goldfinger. Mmm. What was her name? 338 00:13:46,347 --> 00:13:47,783 Um, oh, Pussy Galore. 339 00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:49,045 Hmm. 340 00:13:49,089 --> 00:13:51,091 Okay, let's go try something else, huh? 341 00:13:51,134 --> 00:13:53,397 This way. Come on. We're done. 342 00:13:54,224 --> 00:13:55,791 It's not over. 343 00:14:00,752 --> 00:14:02,363 You were right, Gigi. 344 00:14:02,406 --> 00:14:04,887 I've gotten a ton of responses to my tweet about my vacation. 345 00:14:04,931 --> 00:14:06,454 Sarah says she wishes she was here. 346 00:14:06,497 --> 00:14:07,672 See, I told you. 347 00:14:07,716 --> 00:14:08,978 Ooh! 348 00:14:09,022 --> 00:14:11,024 Take one.Okay. 349 00:14:11,067 --> 00:14:13,156 Honey, you did great. 350 00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:15,245 Look, even Lindsey is having fun. 351 00:14:15,637 --> 00:14:17,247 Perfect. 352 00:14:17,291 --> 00:14:19,510 All right, I think we got everything set up. Ready to go. 353 00:14:19,554 --> 00:14:22,339 All right. Everybody, everybody, please have a seat. 354 00:14:22,383 --> 00:14:24,037 It is time for our show. 355 00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:25,212 All right. 356 00:14:26,953 --> 00:14:31,174 Tonight, I will be performing an interpretive luau dance 357 00:14:31,218 --> 00:14:33,568 that will be translated by Gigi. 358 00:14:33,611 --> 00:14:34,656 Aloha. 359 00:14:34,699 --> 00:14:36,658 Aloha! 360 00:14:37,050 --> 00:14:38,094 Martin? 361 00:14:39,791 --> 00:14:41,924 Nice. Drums. 362 00:14:48,365 --> 00:14:50,150 There once was a king 363 00:14:50,933 --> 00:14:52,848 who claimed he could fly. 364 00:14:54,589 --> 00:14:59,072 But he failed when it came to the Fourth of July. 365 00:15:01,465 --> 00:15:03,772 Are interpretive luau dances supposed to rhyme? 366 00:15:04,860 --> 00:15:05,948 I don't know. 367 00:15:05,992 --> 00:15:09,386 The king ignored his queen, 368 00:15:09,430 --> 00:15:12,607 which made her as mad as he's ever seen. 369 00:15:16,002 --> 00:15:18,526 The king is so sorry 370 00:15:18,569 --> 00:15:22,095 that they're not far away on vacation 371 00:15:22,138 --> 00:15:26,795 but still so glad that the family is together 372 00:15:26,838 --> 00:15:30,407 and having a great staycation. 373 00:15:37,458 --> 00:15:39,460 That was so good. Let's eat! 374 00:15:47,859 --> 00:15:50,558 Not for nothing, Nick, but that was a real good time. 375 00:15:50,601 --> 00:15:52,821 Oh, thanks, Mike. 376 00:15:52,864 --> 00:15:56,303 Hey, by the way, what made you come over? 377 00:15:56,346 --> 00:15:58,479 Oh, yeah, I forgot to tell you. 378 00:15:58,522 --> 00:16:00,263 Those Gaga tickets fell through. 379 00:16:00,307 --> 00:16:02,222 What? What happened? 380 00:16:02,265 --> 00:16:04,267 Your cousin was supposed to hook us up! 381 00:16:04,311 --> 00:16:06,617 I'm sorry, man. But, hey, listen, 382 00:16:06,661 --> 00:16:09,011 if you ever want to see Journey with that Filipino guy, 383 00:16:09,055 --> 00:16:10,099 you let me know. 384 00:16:10,143 --> 00:16:11,840 I'll get you right on the waiting list. 385 00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:20,022 Good morning. 386 00:16:20,066 --> 00:16:21,110 Morning. 387 00:16:21,154 --> 00:16:22,590 Hey, where's Martin? 388 00:16:22,633 --> 00:16:24,244 He's out doing some things. 389 00:16:25,288 --> 00:16:26,550 Oh, my God, Dad, 390 00:16:26,594 --> 00:16:28,770 I tweeted that I was going to see Lady Gaga, 391 00:16:28,813 --> 00:16:31,251 and all my friends are so jealous. 392 00:16:31,773 --> 00:16:32,948 Um... 393 00:16:33,862 --> 00:16:34,994 About that, 394 00:16:36,734 --> 00:16:38,606 I wasn't able to get the tickets. 395 00:16:38,649 --> 00:16:40,086 You're joking, right? 396 00:16:40,129 --> 00:16:43,089 I wish I was, baby. I'm sorry. 397 00:16:43,132 --> 00:16:46,005 Great. It's one thing to say I'm enjoying my vacation, 398 00:16:46,048 --> 00:16:48,659 but I can't lie and say I saw that concert. 399 00:16:48,703 --> 00:16:50,835 So, what do you have planned now? 400 00:16:50,879 --> 00:16:53,751 Nothing yet. I'm still working on it. 401 00:16:53,795 --> 00:16:55,318 So, that's it? 402 00:16:55,362 --> 00:16:57,886 I finally get excited about our stupid vacation, 403 00:16:57,929 --> 00:17:00,019 and now it's over? Whatever. 404 00:17:00,062 --> 00:17:01,498 Lindsey, come back here. 405 00:17:01,542 --> 00:17:03,935 Lindsey! Come back here! 406 00:17:07,243 --> 00:17:09,332 You know, I have worked very hard 407 00:17:09,376 --> 00:17:11,813 to make this an enjoyable experience. 408 00:17:11,856 --> 00:17:14,468 Now, I understand that this is not the Bahamas, 409 00:17:14,511 --> 00:17:16,339 but I am doing my best. 410 00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:19,908 I'm sorry if that's not good enough. 411 00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:40,842 What happened to the resort? 412 00:17:40,885 --> 00:17:43,018 Game over. 413 00:17:43,062 --> 00:17:45,890 The vacation is over. 414 00:17:45,934 --> 00:17:49,764 Almost everything I've promised, I wasn't able to make happen. 415 00:17:49,807 --> 00:17:52,071 Stupid idea to begin with. 416 00:17:52,114 --> 00:17:53,942 Well, I could have told you that. 417 00:17:55,596 --> 00:18:00,079 Nick, it looked like everybody was having a good time. 418 00:18:00,122 --> 00:18:02,864 They were, till they fell apart. 419 00:18:04,170 --> 00:18:06,433 So, something goes wrong and you quit? 420 00:18:08,304 --> 00:18:10,785 I talked to Lindsey. 421 00:18:10,828 --> 00:18:12,917 We all have a surprise for you. 422 00:18:12,961 --> 00:18:14,136 Let me guess. 423 00:18:14,180 --> 00:18:15,616 Everyone's got all their complaints 424 00:18:15,659 --> 00:18:17,835 compiled into one neat little list. 425 00:18:17,879 --> 00:18:19,010 You know, I'm going to sit right here, 426 00:18:19,054 --> 00:18:20,795 and they can just email it to my phone. 427 00:18:21,970 --> 00:18:23,667 No, Nick. 428 00:18:23,711 --> 00:18:27,018 Now, come on. We have something we want to show you. 429 00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:35,636 Oh, here he comes! 430 00:18:35,679 --> 00:18:36,767 The man of the hour. 431 00:18:36,811 --> 00:18:38,029 You think you're ready? 432 00:18:38,073 --> 00:18:40,162 I don't know what I'm ready for. What? What? 433 00:18:40,206 --> 00:18:42,251 Okay, here's your throne, King Nick. 434 00:18:45,341 --> 00:18:46,864 Here you go. Oh, look! 435 00:18:48,562 --> 00:18:50,651 Hello, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to 436 00:18:50,694 --> 00:18:54,655 the first Annual Kingston-Persons Fourth of July Extravaganza! 437 00:18:58,702 --> 00:19:00,574 You know, in professional establishments, 438 00:19:00,617 --> 00:19:03,446 they blink the lights to let you know the show's in 15 minutes. 439 00:19:05,361 --> 00:19:09,496 Okay, anyway, back from their world tour, 440 00:19:09,539 --> 00:19:13,369 introducing Lady Lala and Reyonce! 441 00:19:15,371 --> 00:19:16,546 Ready! 442 00:19:24,946 --> 00:19:26,034 Oh, my God. 443 00:19:29,777 --> 00:19:31,300 Oh, my God. 444 00:19:41,963 --> 00:19:43,269 Whoo! 445 00:19:48,665 --> 00:19:49,971 Yeah! 446 00:19:50,537 --> 00:19:51,842 All right. 447 00:19:58,545 --> 00:20:00,634 Oh! 448 00:20:01,722 --> 00:20:03,114 Look at that. 449 00:20:26,573 --> 00:20:28,401 Lovely! 450 00:20:28,444 --> 00:20:31,447 Oh, my God, thank you.Daddy. 451 00:20:32,274 --> 00:20:34,102 That was wonderful! 452 00:20:34,145 --> 00:20:36,931 Well, um, it's not over. 453 00:20:36,974 --> 00:20:38,541 Bam! What? 454 00:20:38,585 --> 00:20:40,108 I could only get two tickets, 455 00:20:40,151 --> 00:20:41,327 but I thought it would be nice 456 00:20:41,370 --> 00:20:42,632 if you took your daughter 457 00:20:42,676 --> 00:20:44,112 to see the real Lady Gaga. 458 00:20:44,155 --> 00:20:46,288 Thanks, Mom. Thanks, Dad. 459 00:20:46,332 --> 00:20:47,594 This is so wonderful. 460 00:20:47,637 --> 00:20:49,291 I can't wait to tell all my friends. 461 00:20:51,293 --> 00:20:52,773 Thank you, baby. You're welcome. 462 00:20:52,816 --> 00:20:56,298 And guess what. I get to see the Filipino Journey! 463 00:20:56,342 --> 00:20:58,605 They said, "Don't stop believing," and I didn't! 464 00:21:00,476 --> 00:21:02,348 You can clap now.